“I will”

Daily Prompt: Young At Heart

What are your thoughts on aging? How will you stay young at heart as you get older?

Was this prompt made for my page or what?

The women in my family tree were always strong women and in one way or another and did not question their “place” in a “man’s world” at a time when many did. ¬†I think this was a huge advantage in my entrance into the world. ¬†I never thought “I can’t” which freed me to wonder what “I will”.

Now as I age, crone, I am excited to be out of ¬†the frantic pace of work and raising a family in the middle life and have time to continue on in my youth; to actually “be” younger at heart, not older. ¬†The progression of youth into age in number of years does not in itself define where your life goes. ¬†As my heart literally gets older (in years of pumping through this body), I pay more attention to what I eat and what I physically do. ¬†I can say that physically I feel much younger at heart and body now than I ever did. ¬†It has been a natural morphing, I never set out to do such a thing, it just seemed to flow as I entered into this new world of having time for me instead of taking care of everyone else. ¬†I hope the women in my life will not have to question their place in the “family and work” world, and learn to automatically share the load and free some time to ¬†nurture themselves sooner in life.

Soulfully and spiritually, getting older in years is actually having the reverse effect on the rest of my world. ¬†As I find more time and quietness around me my youth is bursting out, trying for another chance, now that I have no reason to keep it under control at times in order to ¬†compete in a “20 or 30 something world”. ¬†I still don’t question my place there, and I can hold my own, but I don’t want to. ¬†I want to sing out loud wherever I am whenever I want, I want to “dance in the garden” and in the rain, I want to follow my curiosities, I want to discover new things, I want to spend time in my young soul and spirit that was put on the shelf when I entered the survival mode of responsibilities.

My answer to this prompt is this. ¬†My body and heart may be “aging”, but the rest of me, mind, body,soul, and spirit, the most ¬†important parts are getting “younger” everyday. ¬†I don’t think of “old” except when I am trying to get out of the chair or bed or have been in the garden too long. ¬†When my body reminds me it is aging, it gives me another opportunity and motivation to pursue my lifelong learning quest and childlike joy into play.

Can you come out and play? ¬†Yes, thank you, “I will!”.



A to Z Challenge Theme Reveal

The theme is :

An Alphabet for the Crone-ing Woman

(and anyone else who needs to shove that dark and negative clutter from their mind)

Pick a word or two, envision it, dissect it, meditate on it, make a mantra out of it, for an hour, a day, a week, a year.  Write it once and tape it to the wall, write it 500 times if you need to.

When your mind gets murky and the worries and negativity set in, concentrate your thoughts on your word.  Make it a habit.  The more you do it, the faster you get at mucking out the manure. Use these words as map directions for your journey.

Fill your mind with the word you have chosen, make it a part of you, make it a part of your day, embrace it, heal yourself.  When you are done and have made it your own, throw it out into the universe with gusto.  Do it randomly or bombard someone you know with it.  Plant it like a seed for someone else to grow and move on to another.

Some of these jewels are nouns, some verbs, some adjectives; some may seem repetitious but I included them because as the word was tweaked slightly they conjured up different images and ideas inside of me and might to you as well.

Add your own words.

I hope this will be a tool to heal, to grow, to share, and to wisely concentrate our crone years’ energies on. ¬†We can be bitter, sad, depressed on our way out or we can shine like a lighthouse.

Enjoy the journey!




A to Z Challenge Theme Reveal BlogFest – Sign Up Now #atozchallenge #atozreveal

No Comparison

If you spend all your time comparing yourself to others and where they are going, you never realize how far you have come.  Each one of us must complete our own journey.  You may never end up where someone else is going, but look at the wonderful changes in you.

Things may sag, hair may gray, bodies break down.  Most especially though, our minds begin to forget all the challenges and accomplishments we have seen through the years.    And we did it.  We made it.  Now it is time to move on, times a-wasting.

¬†It doesn’t matter if Betty has a bigger house, she has to clean it. ¬†Yuk. ¬†It doesn’t matter if Wanda just got a face lift and looks beautiful. ¬†One: it hurts ( a lot ). Two:They don’t last forever either, and then she’ll want another, and another. ¬†All that matters is you.

There is nobody else like you. ¬†Learn to have fun no matter the circumstance. ¬†If you can’t change it, deal with it, move on, laugh a little. ¬†Laugh a lot. ¬†

Yeah, sometimes life can suck.  But really nobody cares as much as you, they have their own difficulties.  Only you can pull yourself out of the muck, look back only to see how far you have come, face forward, and keep on moving.

Your journey is your adventure and is incomparable!


Crone-ing Wisdom

A crone realizes there is so much to learn that  true wisdom is pretty much out of reach.  

A crone realizes no one really wants an answer to their drama, just a shoulder that will listen.

A crone realizes when to keep listening and especially when to stop.

A crone is learning to live now and quit worrying about how others wish her to live.

A crone is learning that each morning the same challenges pop up again and it is all in what you do with them that determines how your day will go.  

A crone is learning how to accept help and hugs and to be sure to pass both on. 


Wishing, Hoping, Coveting

Did you ever notice that the rich and famous have as many woes and miseries and drama as you do in your life?  Or did all the things they have that you covet blind you to that fact.  All the fame, fortune, good deeds, good health you think will make your life perfect will not shield you from the imperfections of life.

Spending your life always wanting this or that (and I am not just talking about material things), sucks your energy away as well as distracts you from seeing, hearing, feeling your own life as it is right now. ¬†You’ve missed another minute. ¬†There is a limit to our days on earth, those minutes add up.

We laugh at the “text-er” so engrossed sending a message on her phone that she falls into the fountain because it was caught on camera and twittered across the world. ¬†Everyday I can find a spot where I was not in the moment. ¬†I can even find some spots where it was downright dangerous, as in driving home and realizing the 6 mile marker was not coming up because I was already at the 8 mile. ¬†And how many times do I have to go down the stairs for something before I stay in the moment and remember what I am supposed to be doing?

So many moments missed because we are not paying attention.   I am trying to concentrate on cultivating more awareness of all the little things that would otherwise pass me by.  Time is wasted wishing for the possibly unattainable when you could be paying attention to right here, right now moving yourself closer to real peace and contentment.

All of us are truly equal in all our inner battles and rewards. ¬† ¬†It doesn’t matter if you are rich or destitute, your life will have both. ¬†A hug or smile lifts us all. ¬†Rejection hurts not matter who you are.

My Funny Valentine?


After 30 years of what I thought was a “till death do you part” marriage it ended. ¬†I died. ¬†Or at least my heart and soul and spirit did. ¬†The pieces of myself scattered everywhere. ¬†I wanted to die. ¬†It took an endless amount of time to convince myself to chose not to.

I had learned from 30 years of moving, moving, moving (the longest stop maybe 6 months) that nowhere would fix it.  All stops, in the end, are the same.  All humans ranging from the best to the not quite right live there.  The world is how you perceive it and who you surround yourself with.

The only distinction is the weather and the scenery.

So, I pitched a tent on the coast of Oregon. ¬†The ocean has always spoke to me, the negative ions revive me, and the weather doesn’t get too hot or too cold. ¬†I began to try to create a new life. ¬†My heart was not only broken but smashed, cut up, and buried. ¬†I became one of the “walking wounded”.

I dug my roots into Mother Earth, surrounded myself with an invisible purple flame for protection ( a concerned someone showed me this), swore I would never let anyone get close enough to break me again, got a job, got a place to live, went to school, and attempted to care again.

After beating on myself, beating the world, and beating on drums, I began to return to a little bit of sanity. ¬†I was starting a new life of something out of nothing. ¬†Have you ever started from nothing? ¬†It is surprisingly full of rules that try to beat you down. ¬†No one knows you. ¬†You are an outsider. ¬†You can’t get a place to live because you don’t have a job. ¬†You can’t get a job because you don’t have a phone or an address. ¬†You can’t get an address because you are living in a campground.

I survived.  I did it all on my own.

Eventually some well meaning single friends from the city had been on-line dating and decided it was time for me to join them. ¬†I was never, never going there. ¬†No. Never. ¬†Too dangerous on so many levels. ¬†I was not interested. ¬†My family, my job, my home were all lost or broken because of “just friends” from the web.

They put my profile on anyway, with 3 qualifiers:  no smokers, no children at home, within 50 miles.


On Valentine’s Day 2000, I checked my e-mail before work. ¬†There was a short note from a man I didn’t know. ¬†He would like to just have dinner Friday night. ¬†Nothing more, nothing less.

At work that night, all the ladies were talking about what they got from their Valentine, their desks were decorated with flowers and cards, several were showing off ¬†engagement rings, some were passing out chocolates. ¬†When asked about my Valentine, I couldn’t shadow the fun. ¬†I couldn’t do it. ¬†“You never know…I might have found my Valentine today in my e-mail.” ¬†I just laughed it out of my mouth and into the Universe.

I went home in the morning and quickly sent an answer.  Yes, see you Friday.


This Valentine’s Day will be the 14th anniversary of that e-mail. ¬†He hates it when I point that out. ¬†He is very stoic and says it is unnecessary to have anniversaries for every event in my life. ¬†I agree, but I must celebrate incredible events! ¬†Not only did I answer his e-mail and meet him for dinner, he failed two of the three criteria; he smoked, ¬†and his teenage daughter had just moved back in from mama’s.

He was also one of the “walking wounded”, married 28 years until his wife found someone more interesting on the internet. ¬†We were both discarded for the lures of better on the internet, yet we met there. ¬†Ironic, isn’t it.

His eyes drew me in and never let go.  We both agreed Рno commitment, just companionship, someone to meet for dinner or coffee once in a while, someone to talk to that understood the pain.  We were both working full time jobs and lived almost an hour apart.

We’ve been together ever since. ¬†It’s been a wonderful fourteen years learning how to love again, trust again, have fun again. ¬†It’s a whole new experience without the strains of sharing kids and money which is the downfall of so many relationships. ¬†Now I have another anniversary to add to the list of holidays I celebrate and he has no chance of denying me that because he is the one who told me “we probably should get over our denial and just get married” (I told you he was stoic).

Now we make a date for dinner every Valentine’s Day.


dp challenge – my funny valentine