“The Bad Girl”
aka the Foul Mouth Crone
When I was a child, my grandparents used to recite this nursery rhyme to me when I was getting out of hand, and call me the Girl with the Curl.
“There was a little girl
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good, she was very very good;
But when she was bad, she was horrid.”
From very young I think this stuck in my filtering system and I knew I was expected to be good and bad was horrible. It took me quite a few years to realize that there was a whole lot of stuff in between and I needed to embrace both, integrating what works for me from both and ignoring what others thought I should be.
There are so many names for the “Bad Girl”. Most all are negative and used to gain power and control of how others see these girls/women. We tend to put it all on the men, but women actually use this way of categorizing women just as often. A way to classify, or uplift their own selves, or demonize the unwanted and ugly or to hang on to their own sense of self worth.
The Bad Girl, The Mean Girl, The Hussy,
The Pissed off Hag
The Scarlet Letter Woman
The OH it must be that time of month Girl
The Man Stealer
The Man Hater
The Other Woman, The Woman in Red, The Slut
The Whore, The Prostitute
The Foul Mouthed Old Crone
The Fisherman’s Wife
The Witch, The Bitch, The Temptress
The Wicked Woman
The Siren, The Muses
The Bitter Old Woman
The Feminist, The Loud Mouth
The Unwed Mother, The Single Parent
The Bad Girl, she has no class. She is shameless.
She acts like a man.
She is easy, sleeps around, promiscuous.
She has to work.
She is uncontrollable, braless, vulgar.
She is vindictive, manipulative, dishonest, cruel, nasty.
She is not obedient, doesn’t behave.
She is critical, judgemental, loud, not pleasant.
She is abusive, gold digging, willful.
She is a non conformist.
She is very sexual.
The Good Girl is safe, The Bad Girl is Dangerous.
We are both, they are within us.
If we physically hurt yourself or someone else either can be toxic.
Otherwise, we need to integrate them, use what we need to move forward, and have no apologies.
If a woman purports to anything but being a mother and or a wife she is stepping into being accused of and named a Bad Girl, especially if she enters a man’s domain.And if she chooses to be a mother and or a wife, she will be accused of copping out, or lazy, or incapable. A woman who rises to the top, or even the middle of her profession, any profession, will be demonized in one way or another, and by both men and women alike. If she speaks up for herself, stands up for herself , lives fiercely , unapologetically, strong, capable, doesn’t believe in the good girl/ bad girl fairy tale, becomes the target of others insecurities.
Wiktionary defines Bad Girl as slang for a female criminal. A woman whose rebellious nature makes her attractive.
Mzangila dot com says :
Good girls keep the company of people they don’t like or who do not add value to their lives. They say they do not want to offend those people by breaking the association.
Bad girls have no time for such pretense. They will tell you off and avoid your company if it doesn’t add value to their lives.
Bad is also defined as of poor quality or a low standard, inferior, second rate. An evil or unhappy state.
Terrible dreadful poor cheap, abysmal awful lousy atrocious crummy horrible, deplorable diabolical disgraceful and 218 more synonyms appear in the thesaurus.
What do you think? When I hear Bad Girl, I ask by whose standards? Why? And, Is that wrong? Is someone getting hurt? If no, then more power to her! Being a bad girl can be good for you. There is a broad spectrum of awesome, fantastic women between the two extremes. To me, it is actually the whole Dance of the Critic and the Muse!
How’s that for a rant?